Let's not beat around the bush

When a woman has an orgasm, the muscle contractions help flush the “old” fluid out of the body and rid the body of bacteria that can cause infection.

Think of it like blowing your nose, but it feels incredible and doesn’t make terrifying sounds.

Reaching an orgasm can also dramatically ease menstrual cramps. Surprise, surprise, women bleed out of their lotus patches and sometimes it hurts so badly that cutting your internal organs out of your body and throwing them on the floor sounds like a better idea.

We could suffer it out or load our bodies up with painkillers to ease the burden, or we could just go for a rousing round of “she-bopping.”

Clitoral stimulation is the only way 70 percent of women can reach orgasm, and it allows you to pleasure yourself without having to risk running into the red sea.

Not only do the contractions of an orgasm alleviate cramping, but they also loosen up the juices and may even make your period end sooner. There’s no scientific evidence to support this, but I personally highly recommend this practice.

Self-satisfying “schlucking” can also help you figure out what you like and dislike as far as your lady bits are concerned.

As previously mentioned, some women cannot reach orgasm from penetration alone, and figuring out whether or not you are one of these women is extremely important. If you cannot reach orgasm from vaginal penetration and don’t know this, you’re bound to be left highly unsatisfied in the bedroom with a disappointed partner, or you’ll become very good at faking orgasms, both of which are really terrible things.

Figuring out what sort of touch gets you off is no different than knowing where you’re ticklish. It’s your body; you should really get to know it as best as you possibly can.

Regardless of what the Puritans would have you believe, sex and sexual urges are totally normal. We may be more domestic than our animal friends, but we’re still mammals nonetheless, and we have urges to breed. Humans differ from other animals in that we’re one of the fewer species who actually has sex for fun.

Noted sex therapist Lonnie Barbach has even expressed in her book, “For Yourself,” that avoiding sexual urges can cause body and mind imbalances. If you’re not in a place to have a partner or don’t want to have sex for whatever reason, masturbation can help balance you out. By balancing yourself out, you’re relieving emotional stress and helping to clear the mind so you can focus on other things, like schoolwork.

Masturbation also helps the economy. While hand-to-hand combat with your no-zone is fine and dandy, using the aid of a stimulation device can make you a quicker and more efficient masturbator. Vibrators, dildos and other sex toys feel incredible to use, and will help give your body the very best sensations possible.

My personal suggestion is to look for personal body massagers; they’ve got a higher intensity and don’t cost as much as products labeled specifically for sexual usage.

Whether you use your hand, a toy, the showerhead or a washing machine, you should never feel ashamed of your body or be afraid to make yourself feel good. In the words of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” “it isn’t a crime to give yourself over to pleasure.” Well, just don’t do it in public; there are laws against that.